ClipSelect v3

I Was a Teenage Abomination

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EDA: Well, Luz...

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Did you ever in your life think you'd see something as breathtaking as this?

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(FLIES BUZZING)

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I don't like this.

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Yes, it doesn't get much more inspiring than the trash slug.

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It makes a home, a life

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from what others have thrown by the wayside.

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Until, blam,

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it gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt.

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And then we get to sell the stuff it ate.

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Please don't make me.

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Oh, come on, Luz.

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It's not every day you get to go to the dump

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and pick apart a garbage carcass.

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Eh, nuts to you both.

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-(THUDDING) -So, Eda...

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(THUDDING)

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What if we tried some new lessons for my apprenticeship?

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-Like... -(THUDDING)

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Read ancient scrolls or mix together potions, or...

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Ugh! That sounds like a bunch of magic school stuff.

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Wait. Is there a magic school here?

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Like, winding towers, cute uniforms,

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dark plots that threaten your life kind of magic school?

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Mmm-hmm. What's worse, they force you to learn magic the "proper" way.

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But magic isn't proper. It's wild and unpredictable.

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And that's why it's so beautiful.

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I didn't finish school, and look at me!

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-Who wouldn't envy where I am right now? -(FLIES BUZZING)

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Uh... Hey, here's a lesson.

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A great witch is resourceful, like this.

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Oh, hey. Greasy slime ball.

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Use your slime ball wisely, young witch.

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Back at it!

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We'll hit the stink nodes first.

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Actually, if it's okay,

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I think I'll head home

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and look at pictures of animals that are still alive.

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Love you, King.

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-(GIGGLING) -You little beach peach.

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(SIGHS)

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More for me, then.

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There we go.

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Okay.

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KING: Ow! EDA: This is awesome!

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(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

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(PANTING)

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Ugh! If magic's all about digging for slime balls,

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maybe I don't have the stomach for it.

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GIRL: You can do it! You can!

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Mysterious voice of encouragement?

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(GASPS) No! Little witch girl.

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You can do it. Even if you get a bad grade,

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it's not a reflection of you as a witch.

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And my parents are right.

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There are better opportunities on this track.

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Now, get to school!

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Oh, no! Oh, little friend! I'm sorry!

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(GASPS)

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(RUMBLING)

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Willow!

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Wow. You're so unnoticeable I almost rolled into you.

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Hi, Amity.

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Shouldn't you get to class early to prep your...

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(GROANING)

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Oh, Willow...

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You don't have anything to show, do you?

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Witch drama!

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(SIGHS) This is why people call you "Half-a-Witch Willow."

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(RUMBLING)

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Oh, looks like someone wants to say something to you.

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Abomination, rise.

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You're a star.

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Aw, it's like mine.

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But much smaller, and meaningless.

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As top student, it's my duty to tell you to keep at it.

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Even you could get a passing grade someday.

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Abomination, cower.

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See you in class, superstar.

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(IMITATING AMITY) "Oh, see you in class, superstar."

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I hate when she does that.

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I hate making abominations. I hate getting bad grades.

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Ugh, I can't stand this anymore.

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(GRUNTING)

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(GASPS)

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(SCREAMING)

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Not a bad haul. That oviduct was loaded.

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Ah. Lose apprentice, gain garbage eggs.

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Fair trade.

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(SCOFFING) I didn't lose anything.

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If you don't teach Luz right, you will.

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And that's when I come in, make her my apprentice.

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Ha! And what would you teach? How to get stuck in the arm of a sweater?

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Hey, that only happened once!

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I'd teach her about demons.

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How to identify them, talk to 'em,

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raise an army with them and tear apart the world!

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After they tear you out of the sweater arm, right?

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You think you're so smart!

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Well, why don't we make a little bet

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where I can prove that I'd make a better teacher.

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Okay. I'm obligated to remind you

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that I only use our bets to utterly humiliate you.

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And that you've never won.

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I like those odds.

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So how's this? Teach this trashslug to be your loyal soldier in one day.

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Prove that you can be a better teacher than me, and Luz is all yours.

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But if you don't,

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I change your name from King to Mr. Wiggles.

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Well, when you lose, you'll have to

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wear a shame hat and sleep in a shack

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and never come into the Owl House again! Ha!

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Deal.

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(GRUNTS)

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(COOING)

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(CHUCKLES)

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Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

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I'm so sorry!

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It's okay. The thorns only went through a few layers of skin.

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So circly.

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-(YELPS) -(GASPS)

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You're human! This is astounding!

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A human on the Boiling Isles!

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How'd you get here? What are you doing here?

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(BELLS TOLLING)

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I'm sorry. I can't stay.

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I have to go disappoint my teacher.

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It was nice to meet you, human.

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Wait! I'm Luz. And you're Willow, right?

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What you did with that flower and those plants, it was... Wow!

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Thanks, but I'm not even supposed to be doing plant magic.

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My parents put me in the abomination track at school.

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(EXCLAIMING) Like, magic school?

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That's so cool!

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I'm so jealous.

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I have a teacher, but her lessons are a bit untraditional.

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I bet she wouldn't even let me enroll.

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But I wish I could spend one day there.

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I wish I could get a passing grade for once.

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Then people would stop calling me "Half-a-Witch Willow."

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-(GROANS) -LUZ: Hey, wait.

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I know how we can both get what we want.

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Make me your abomination.

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I'll get you a good grade, and you can get me into magic school.

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It's fiendishly clever.

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-What? -I saw that girl's thing.

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It's just chunks of stuff that talks weird.

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I'm chunks of stuff, and I talk weird!

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That's true. (GIGGLING)

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Okay. It's a deal.

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Luz.

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This is a great plan.

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Oops. Abomination goo.

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-(GRUNTING) -(GROANS)

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Great plan.

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Welcome to Hexside School of Magic and Demonics.

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Remember to stay hidden, okay?

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(EXCLAIMING)

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Hmm?

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-Willow, you would not believe humans. -Humans? Pfft. I haven't seen any. What?

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Did you know that humans nail barbed wire to their kids' teeth?

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But why? Maybe to make them magnetic.

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LUZ: Actually, it's for storing treats.

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Okay, Augustus. I'm gonna tell you something.

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But you have to be cool.

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I can be spool. I mean, cool.

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Okay. Abomination, rise.

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Ta-da!

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I'm an abomination.

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Luz, that's not how abominations act.

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No. No, it couldn't be.

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He's the president of the Human Appreciation Society.

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Most witches wouldn't be able to recognize a human right away.

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-But Augustus is an expert. -Where are your gills?

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I knew an Augustus back in the human world. We called him Gus.

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Gus? Nickname? Human nickname? Gus?

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Call me it. Wow. Gus. This is the best day of my life.

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(BELL RINGING, SCREAMING)

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I've gotta get to spelling class. See you guys at lunch!

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-All right. Into the darkness you go. -(HISSING)

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KING: Aw, who's a good Prince Jr.?

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Who's a good guy?

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Hey, Mr. Wiggles.

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You're not gonna teach it anything doing that.

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It's called positive reinforcement, Eda.

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And it works wonders.

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Ha-ha! See? Now watch this.

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Prince Jr.! Attack Eda!

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Knock over her drink! Mess up her hair!

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(SARCASTICALLY) Oh, no. Please stop.

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Well, I haven't seen your student in forever.

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For all we know, she's not even loyal to you anymore.

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Ha-ha-ha, you wish.

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But yeah. Where is she?

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STUDENT 1: Hope I pass. STUDENT 2: I'm confident about this.

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-(GROANS) -Hmm.

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Too many toenails in unexpected places.

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Fail. Pathetic!

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The biggest abominations are all of you!

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If the next abomination is a failure,

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everyone gets extra homework for a month!

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-Oh, man! -Extra homework? Not again!

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(CLEARS THROAT) And the next one to come up is...

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Excuse me, sir, but I am ready to present my abomination.

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Rise!

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(GROANING)

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(CHUCKLING)

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I've always saved the best for last, Amity.

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You'll have to wait your turn.

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How about...

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Willow?

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STUDENT 1: Not Half-a-Witch. STUDENT 2: Great. Homework for a month.

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Don't listen to them, Willow. We can do this.

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Uh... Abomination, rise.

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Ta-da!

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(ALL GASPING)

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Abomination, bow.

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(GRUNTS) Blah.

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Very impressive. But does it speak?

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Uh, I may be your abomination,

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but you're my a-mom-ination.

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-ALL: Aw. -STUDENT1: It's cute.

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(LAUGHS)

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"A-mom-ination!"

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Splendid wordplay. A+!

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-ALL: Yay! -STUDENT 3: Yo, Willow!

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(BELL RINGING, SCREAMING)

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(COUGHING)

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Wonderful work today, Willow.

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Looks like we have a new top student.

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(AMITY GASPING)

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Uh... but...

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Uh, thank you, sir.

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-Hey. -(GASPS)

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Last time I saw you, your abomination was mush.

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What did you do?

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I, uh, took your pep talk to heart, Amity.

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I bet you did. I've got my eyes on you, Half-a-Witch.

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That badge is mine.

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Hey!

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Uh-oh. I think Amity is onto us.

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(SCREAMS)

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Have you seen Luz?

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I heard her tiny mouse feet walking close by.

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Or that might've been some mice.

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Anyway, someone started moving in that direction.

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(HOOTING)

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Are you trying to point, or...

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Look at the weather vane!

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But the only thing that way is the...

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(GASPS) No.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

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Okay, everyone. Recite your runes.

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Krom, Zix, Elgrim, Zenomide...

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No. Blind obedience.

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Heximal system time!

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Let's get memorizin'!

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No! Pointless busywork!

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No!

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Why? School!

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Hey. Do humans eat PB&J's?

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Oh, my gosh. I haven't eaten real food in so long. Please give me some.

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I don't know, Gus.

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If Amity saw that...

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I saw that! Abominations don't eat!

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I know you're in there! You can't hide from me.

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What are you? Who are you? I want answers!

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-Amity Blight. -Huh?

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I suspected a twinge of jealousy, but this,

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this is just sad.

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But I... No! Look at it.

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(GROANING)

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Report to Principal Bump's office.

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-But... -Now!

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Roll over! Yes!

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Heel!

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Yes, yes!

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So, did you find your runaway student?

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By your expression, I can tell

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Luz has gone and found herself someplace else to learn.

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Which means I have won!

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EDA: Yes, great, you won.

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You have a giant soldier thing and I have nothing. Congrats!

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Oh, Eda, don't say that.

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At least you have this!

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-(LAUGHING) -(GROANS)

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(LAUGHING)

0:14:21.36 - 0:14:23.49

I am so funny!

0:14:23.65 - 0:14:26.07

Ah. Well, Prince Jr. training complete.

0:14:26.24 - 0:14:29.58

Go forth! Make the world tremble at your feet...

0:14:29.75 - 0:14:31.46

Or worm stubs.

0:14:33.54 - 0:14:34.67

Go forth?

0:14:36.25 - 0:14:38.00

Oh, right.

0:14:43.01 - 0:14:44.55

-(GROWLS) -(KING WHIMPERING)

0:14:45.38 - 0:14:48.64

Woo. I'm a sweaty little abomination.

0:14:48.85 - 0:14:52.06

But now we don't have to worry about Amity. High five!

0:14:55.52 - 0:14:57.19

Slap my hand. It's a human thing.

0:15:03.20 - 0:15:04.82

Oh. Oh, my.

0:15:04.99 - 0:15:07.41

Oh, man, what a rush!

0:15:10.62 - 0:15:12.66

Good afternoon, students.

0:15:13.04 - 0:15:14.79

Principal Bump.

0:15:19.09 - 0:15:20.25

Hmm.

0:15:20.46 - 0:15:22.84

Abomination, rise.

0:15:24.59 - 0:15:27.22

Abomination, lie.

0:15:27.51 - 0:15:29.14

Um... Viral fame is a worthy pursuit.

0:15:29.30 - 0:15:31.60

Your cat would never eat you if it got the chance.

0:15:31.76 - 0:15:34.06

-Chemtrails are real... -Oh, no, abomination.

0:15:34.23 - 0:15:36.14

How strange for it to get the command wrong.

0:15:36.31 - 0:15:38.27

I mean lie down.

0:15:39.19 - 0:15:40.36

(GROANS)

0:15:41.11 - 0:15:43.24

So very lifelike.

0:15:43.44 - 0:15:47.28

When Miss Blight told me about your abomination, I had to come by,

0:15:47.45 - 0:15:49.28

see what she's made of.

0:15:49.45 - 0:15:51.70

Oh, I have her list of ingredients right here.

0:15:51.87 - 0:15:52.87

No.

0:15:53.04 - 0:15:54.54

We were hoping

0:15:56.08 - 0:15:58.13

for a closer look.

0:16:00.71 - 0:16:04.09

Willow, I'll allow you the first cut.

0:16:07.30 - 0:16:10.80

(WHISPERING) Uh, you can't just cut open a human, can you?

0:16:12.43 - 0:16:15.14

Willow, go ahead and make the first incision.

0:16:15.31 - 0:16:16.73

GUS: Wait, Principal Bump!

0:16:16.89 - 0:16:18.56

Uh... High five!

0:16:19.69 - 0:16:21.44

(GROANING)

0:16:23.40 - 0:16:24.53

Run!

0:16:26.45 - 0:16:27.90

They're getting away!

0:16:28.07 - 0:16:30.12

No, the intruder won't get far.

0:16:39.25 - 0:16:40.79

This is all my fault, Willow.

0:16:40.96 - 0:16:43.67

I just wanted to see what a real magic school was like.

0:16:44.25 - 0:16:45.71

Well, how do you like it?

0:16:45.88 - 0:16:47.34

It's lovely, actually.

0:16:48.30 - 0:16:49.72

Okay, we should get out of here before...

0:16:57.98 - 0:16:59.69

Bump seals us in.

0:17:02.31 - 0:17:03.98

KING: Help me, help me, help me!

0:17:05.57 - 0:17:06.78

(WHIMPERING)

0:17:07.03 - 0:17:08.32

(BANGING ON DOOR)

0:17:09.45 - 0:17:10.74

Trouble with your student?

0:17:10.91 - 0:17:12.07

Yes, yes!

0:17:13.28 - 0:17:14.70

Are you sure you need my help?

0:17:14.87 - 0:17:17.41

Maybe he only wants more of your brilliant lessons.

0:17:18.79 - 0:17:19.79

(ROARING)

0:17:21.75 - 0:17:23.00

Ahh!

0:17:23.88 - 0:17:27.96

Please help me! You can call me Mr. Wiggles!

0:17:30.05 - 0:17:31.22

(GROANING)

0:17:32.97 - 0:17:36.10

Okay, Mr. Wiggles. Here's what we're gonna do.

0:17:36.43 - 0:17:37.72

(LUZ AND WILLOW PANTING)

0:17:41.52 - 0:17:42.77

(GASPS)

0:17:49.82 - 0:17:52.66

Oh, this is awful. I don't know what to do.

0:17:52.87 - 0:17:55.62

Amity's right. I'm just Half-a-Witch Willow.

0:17:55.78 - 0:17:57.29

You're Full-Witch Willow.

0:17:57.45 - 0:17:58.58

And you're great.

0:17:58.74 - 0:18:02.25

And someone once told me great witches are resourceful.

0:18:02.62 - 0:18:03.83

That's it!

0:18:04.00 - 0:18:05.75

You mean that greasy slime ball?

0:18:05.92 - 0:18:09.26

Luz, it's a seed! Thank goodness you had it on you.

0:18:10.05 - 0:18:13.09

Yeah. Thank goodness someone told me to hold on to it.

0:18:18.06 - 0:18:19.85

Please grow!

0:18:29.98 - 0:18:30.99

(GRUNTING)

0:18:34.87 - 0:18:36.07

(GASPS)

0:18:40.79 - 0:18:42.54

Remarkable.

0:18:44.88 - 0:18:46.29

There's the exit!

0:18:48.67 - 0:18:50.21

Not so fast!

0:18:50.38 - 0:18:52.47

I'm not letting you get away so easily.

0:18:52.63 - 0:18:55.26

I want my badge!

0:18:55.43 - 0:18:57.55

Abominations, seize!

0:18:57.72 - 0:18:59.77

-(GROANING) -(GRUNTING)

0:19:09.07 - 0:19:10.36

-(SCREAMING) -Whoa.

0:19:14.57 - 0:19:15.99

(GRUNTING)

0:19:18.66 - 0:19:21.33

-Get outta here! -No! I'm not leaving you.

0:19:21.49 - 0:19:24.41

I may get detention, but you'll get dissected.

0:19:28.71 - 0:19:29.92

So go!

0:19:31.05 - 0:19:32.21

(GRUNTING)

0:19:37.13 - 0:19:38.22

Willow!

0:19:39.39 - 0:19:40.93

I can't save you right now.

0:19:41.10 - 0:19:43.18

But I know someone who can!

0:19:43.52 - 0:19:44.98

-(ROARING) -(GRUNTING)

0:19:51.02 - 0:19:52.36

(GRUNTING)

0:19:53.65 - 0:19:55.11

Pour the salt, now!

0:19:55.28 - 0:19:56.53

Baby boy!

0:19:56.70 - 0:19:58.07

(WHIMPERING)

0:19:59.91 - 0:20:01.45

I have no son.

0:20:01.62 - 0:20:02.83

Eat salt!

0:20:07.67 - 0:20:08.83

(WHIMPERING)

0:20:09.25 - 0:20:12.21

Yes, I did it! I'm amazing! Whoa!

0:20:13.63 - 0:20:15.13

(CHUCKLES) You helped too.

0:20:15.30 - 0:20:16.67

You are a good teacher.

0:20:16.84 - 0:20:18.84

I wish Luz thought that too.

0:20:19.05 - 0:20:20.80

Eda!

0:20:21.01 - 0:20:23.22

Hey, hey, hey, hey! What is this? Ugh!

0:20:23.39 - 0:20:25.18

I never understand when you do this.

0:20:25.35 - 0:20:28.48

Your lesson worked! Keeping junk in my pocket saved my life!

0:20:28.64 - 0:20:30.94

But wait. My new friends. They're in danger.

0:20:31.11 - 0:20:32.32

Luz!

0:20:33.82 - 0:20:36.07

Seriously, what... What is that?

0:20:37.40 - 0:20:40.16

You won't believe it, Luz. Everything is perfect now!

0:20:40.32 - 0:20:41.95

It's true. I don't believe it.

0:20:42.12 - 0:20:43.91

Principal Bump was so impressed by my plant work

0:20:44.08 - 0:20:45.70

he's switching me to the plant magic track!

0:20:45.87 - 0:20:47.08

Look!

0:20:48.96 - 0:20:50.33

Yes!

0:20:50.50 - 0:20:51.96

(CHEERING)

0:20:52.13 - 0:20:53.84

Oh... What about Amity?

0:20:54.00 - 0:20:57.76

Last we saw, she was asking Bump if today could count as extra credit.

0:20:57.92 - 0:21:01.09

Well, I can't wait to see you in action next time I sneak in.

0:21:01.97 - 0:21:03.60

Uh... About that.

0:21:03.76 - 0:21:05.72

You're kinda, sorta

0:21:06.31 - 0:21:08.56

-banned. -That's my girl!

0:21:08.73 - 0:21:11.31

But we could come here and teach you what we learned.

0:21:11.48 - 0:21:15.98

Aw! That would be nice. But I have a pretty great teacher already.

0:21:17.28 - 0:21:18.44

Yeah, that's right.

0:21:18.61 - 0:21:20.11

Luz is my student.

0:21:20.28 - 0:21:22.24

-Back off, academy twerps. -(LAUGHING)

0:21:23.12 - 0:21:25.41

Oh! Baby's first wanted poster.

0:21:25.58 - 0:21:26.95

Good job, kid.

0:21:27.12 - 0:21:29.41

Looks like I taught you something after all.

0:21:30.25 - 0:21:32.92

Uh... You high five with your hands, not your head.

0:21:34.34 - 0:21:36.34

(CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)